Star-struck.. Sleepless & Seriously Stupid !

You know when I looked at the skies at 3 am in the night.. {K ya so I couldn't grab a bunch of dreams and I was tired of warming my bed.. so I turned around and was errrh.. star gazing :D.. well practically.. trying to atleast.. unsuccessful.. 'coz the streetlights and the moon were hiding whatever little sparkle was left in the sky.. but ohh well whatever.. :|..} all I could manage to see was tiny distant dots.. {Yaey me! I did find a few :D..} Gawking at them dreamily.. I was reminded of one of the quotes from the movie 'Stardust'.. {starring the ever gorgeous Claire Danes and the cute charmer Charlie Cox.. One of my favourite movies.. I've seen it like 8 times :D..} It's not actually a quote.. errrh.. I'm not quite sure what I can call it.. the opening line? {Narrated in the sexy voice of Sir Ian McKellen..} Anyway it goes like this..

>> A philosopher once asked, "Are we human because we gaze at the stars, or do we gaze at them because we are human?" Pointless, really... ”Do the stars gaze back?" Now *that's* a question ! <<

Yes.. that's a question.. I was so lost pondering over this question.. That eventually I created a whole dream about a beautiful girl who gets magical powers and one fine day.. she visits the stars.. her home.. {The girl being myself :|.. Dont laugh :O I'll kill u :|..} only to realise that her home up in the sparkling blackness called the skies was taken over by a freaky-but-handsome {what? :| It's my dream ok =;..} wizard who was the only one who really understood the source of her powers.. And promised to coach her and train her if only she let him rule over along with her as the priestess-in-training who would one day flower into her rightful place..

*Sigh*

At this point I realised I was being a complete idiot and ruining whatever little sleep I did feel by creating a very romantic.. very hot.. very adventurous.. very magical and utterly stupid dream for myself.. So I quit :|..

*Double-sigh*

After quitting my beautiful dream and blaming it entirely on my unimaginative and intolerably boring mind.. I realised I still wasn't feeling very much in the mood to sleep.. {Lack of sleep and now add in a little gloominess! Presto you have a pretend-insomniac :O Uh.. doesn't mean I'm happy to be a pretend.. Errrh.. whatever.. :|..} As sad and embarrasing as the truth is.. I did not want to really fall asleep.. So I pulled myself away from my warm sheets.. caught a hold of my laptop.. sluggishly crawled down the stairs.. into my kitchen.. grabbing a hot chocolate.. and here I am.. I don't really know what I want to say.. or what I wanna do.. But I guess.. I'm in the mood for vomitting my feelings down.. be they about anything at all ! Which is quite irritating for me.. 'coz I dont really know what I want to pour down.. & yet at the same time.. I totally wanna empty myself right now.. Hmmm.. Guess this willing-yet-confused mind is 'coz its really cold down here and I'm all alone in this huge mansion of a house..

*Gulp*

Ok.. well.. there aint no boogy-monsters in here along with me.. :| Even if there was one.. I am sure it'd behave well enough..

*Crossed fingers*

Actually.. I really wouldn't mind some company :D Maybe I'd become BFF with Mr. Boogy Spooky {hehe.. I even have a name for him :P..} and scare the crap outta my mom when she does come back >:) .. On second thoughts.. that would be using someone right? Even if the someone is a boogy-monster.. What? They have feelings too! {Uh.. I think..} Well.. I think I'd prefer some time alone rather than a long time being guilty.. :| No no.. I aint completely an angel o:-) But a part of me is ;) Hehe.. It really is fun staying up so late at night and writing down crap that randomly pops up in your head.. Hmmm..

*Slurp slurp*

Uh.. Sheesh.. It's almost 3:45 :|.. I have a test 2moro.. A real crappy one.. Matrices and all.. Its really easy.. And I'm almost prepared for it.. :D Almost..

You know.. come to think of it.. I always had a thing for ppl who could just pour their minds out into words.. My ex. rocked at it :D He definitely knew how to put thoughts into words.. And those words made sense.. Idk how he did it.. I mean.. One second I'd be reading his words.. and the next second wondering how composed he kept himself throughout the outburst.. It really is an art.. An art I dont possess.. Huh..

On the other hand.. {taking up the defensive stance for once!} I think random thoughts are supposed to be well.. random? Else they'd be more like.. a well thought over composition which reveals exactly what you are thinking and your explanations about it.. Sure ppl have a lot of poopie in their lives to deal with.. And it can get hard..

*Been there.. Done that !*

But that really doesn't mean we should keep brooding over it does it? I mean.. 2 words.. 'let go' ? Hehe.. ironical coming from me eh? I really can't let go stuff at times.. I mean.. I'm definitely not the kinda person who shifts serious moods in seconds.. Am I moody.. Hell yes! I get irritated very fast.. I even get annoyed and pissed very fast.. Errrh I dont melt down that soon.. I mean.. I try.. But I really can't understand those ppl who say "Well lets just forget everything that happened 5 mins before and pretend like nothing is wrong ok?" Kiss my butt!!

Hmmm.. No.. I take my time when I am serious.. Seriously happy.. or Seriously mad.. Lol!

{Does that make me a bad person?}

Well.. like I was saying.. I dont like brooding over things for a 'very' long time.. Say months? Heck.. I get fidgety if I have been feeling the same emotions regarding one particular matter for even a few days together.. I really need change around me.. Every once in a while.. :) Yeh.. I'm weird that way.. Hehe..

Hmmm.. My hot chocolate got over :( It's 4:36 and finally I'm tired.. Guess I should start warming my bed again.. If I sprout wings and fly skyward as I drift into a hopefully peaceful dreamy sleep.. I'd be glad I aint feeling cold atleast..!

Time to hit the hay!!

Hmm.. 8:30pm the next day and here I am reading stuff I frantically typed down once more.. It's embarrasing for sure :P.. Though I dont know if I'd like to post this little random babbling or not.. It makes no sense really.. But then again.. Wherez the fun in keeping it all just to myself? K here goes.. I guess this little writer-business is going to become a really nasty habit and I just hope it doesn't stick around too long..! I really have grown to dislike typing so much :O Lol!

Toodles!~